In the section we now have found that children and adolescents are more controlled by their emotions in lieu of rational and logical thinking. Emotions may explain why children and adolescents behave this way, like the self-destructive behavior. Therefore if we would like to motivate them, we have to first understand the emotions that control them and use these phones move the behavior and thinking more deceptive.
This can be a third child's emotional needs:
1. The necessity to feel SAFE
One of the strongest needs required soerang child is feeling safe. Safe on their own and their environment. Teenagers seek security by joining which has a gang of "gang" or band of their peers, engage social order most notable, and imitate his behavior.
A psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman, in their "five languages ??of affection" to mention you have a psychological love tank to become filled, more precisely if the child then the parents should fill. Children love tank is full he then would want to himself, quiet and felt safe. This could be interpreted as being a happy child together "inner" motivation.
Can we need to read and be aware of love tank? It is necessary, I often recommend the teachers and parents to learn the language of love and discover their son, herself and her partner. This I will discuss within the next article).
By way of example, motivated from the love of any mother scolding her son who was playing computer. "Stop maen computer and learn now" then what exactly is there in your thoughts the child? Maybe "Hmpf ... She did not love me, and even control me and preoccupation" Well, son go being a negative thing, communication is normally destroys the love at the bottom of the problems parents and kids and teachers.
"Loved a child is not the identical to the child feel loved"
What causes the advantages of security isn't met?
• Comparing kids with relatives kinds
Once we say "why are unable to you keep the room as the sister", "why are unable to you are writing neatly Rudi". Will get older feeling rejected, not accepted, they may think "daddy / mommy is happier with ..." it fosters an attitude of love with himself and seriously considered another person. They think safe to be somebody else, never to feel comfortable and safe being herself.
• Criticize and fault finding
Once we say: "you little fool, what's wrong along with you? Why can't you do anything right? "
Certainly, will cause feelings of resentment, no sense of safety within the home (if this happens often at home).
• Physical violence and verbal
I think no requirement to explain anymore, this has been a number of us have been faced with in newspapers as well as on television news, and the dangers or consequences too often we come across in the news. If you have no security in the home, then a child will seek shelter to meet up with their security out of all wrong places. As well as the kids will perform anything to fully grasp this security, seeking attention inside wrong way.
2. The need for recognition (feeling important) and accepted or loved
Rarely do parents make their kids feel important and recognized at your home. Instead many parents who make their kids feel smaller than average insignificant using the threat: "better do your homework now, or ..."
Precisely what is inside mind of the child if treated that way? We parents could well be happy if kids do what we command, but you will find those young minds are lost by doing what they're told parents like that. Numerous children who delayed or failed to do the concepts assigned parents (even though the threat) to satisfy the emotional needs for recognition.
A stern warning to parents: If your child won't feel loved and accepted by their parents, they shall be compelled to take a look out of all wrong places.
The need of any child to become recognized also to be loved is indeed strong, that they may do one thing to be. Should they do not get the recognition it decently it is going to discover the wrong way and the wrong place. This need has prompted some children and teens to use a tattoo, another child, joined the gang of bullies, with flashy colors dyed hair, acting like a clown and comedian. It's generally troublesome themselves, but for the sake of gaining recognition and acceptable (to obtain attention).
You can find extreme cases on 16 April 2007, a student from the U.S. Virginia Tech, Cho Seng-hui. Shot and killed 32 students. What drives this behavior, so he did something so incredible crazy? He did just like it takes recognition and a sense worth addressing so great, although not fulfilled by those that ignored and insulted. It forced him out from the realm of logic and claimed the lives of others in addition to himself, in their mind he thinks it's better to die using the name in the living just isn't bad as anyone.
3. The necessity to control (feeling or wish for self-control)
Since the development of children, while search for identity and independence while assembling through the parent. This procedure creates a difficult need to be free and independent.
So rest room kids don't want to become dictated as to the to accomplish. They aren't "slang" to be handled by parents. By listening to moral support of these parents to treated as being a child. This explains why the kids listen to their friends and uncle or aunt (uncle or aunt) who had previously been younger than his very own parents.
Parents are smart, is not going to give up for this. How to provide direction understanding that the infant's parents want to hear? By using communication it doesn't mean forcing a young child to advice us. Pass as though they study and give your very best by themselves and never for people. they will be more excited and motivated this way. And above all, our kids love the tank meets every day and be sure children are always full as i arise wake and when it is bedtime. Doing this a child knows who understand and love, in order to whom he's going to think about it if needed that you listen, that we are his parents.
Reap the benefits of these details, recognize the emotional needs in our children. Be responsive to where when children need acceptance, the requirement to control things, and want to be safe. Use words which have been appropriate to satisfy those needs, the following advice and the way to meet a child's basic emotional needs:
1. Sense of security:
• Quiet safe along with you dear papa, mama will accompany you, hey ... papa here will keep you dear
2. Sense of acceptance or a family member:
• Come up with a habit of looking at the eyes when actually talking to a child, eye contact is key is flat or "eye love"
• Tap the shoulder while talking or any kind origin polite, to exhibit that any of us are together and nearby the child
• Keep abreast (substitute line using the child or kneel)
• Say: no matter what papa / mama still adore you, you're still champ papa / mama, papa eyes / mama you're the most amazing
3. The desire to control:
• If possible, if you see your kids needs to take a step yourself then please allow
• Actually this is a learning process for himself and the future can be very useful today
• Valuation on the kid are going to be higher, as diligent to provide control towards the child, as the child could operate with no help (obviously, a secure activity for the discretion on the parent)
• Take special time to move and control, and watched with affection, ie children aged 2-3 years'm eating alone, planning to school alone, as well as others
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